horse jokes and puns

He doesn’t look too good.”, The guy said, “He looks just fine. Here are funny horse jokes and puns. Find one named Rich. "No," said the man, "but I did tell a donkey to go away once." 101 Jokes and One Liners for Kids! Horse Racing Jokes If you know any great racing jokes and would like to see them on this page, sent them to ukjockey@hotmail.com A first grade teacher, takes her class to the horse track to see the magnificent horses in action. A horse limps into a bar one day. Why could the pony gallop really fast? After the last fence he was leading easily but he pulled up way too early allowing two other horses to pass him. Whether your children love horses or a good old' giddy giggle, we're sure they'll love these hay-tastic jokes every time. Enjoy! When does a horse talk? A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, “Why the long face?” ... 33 Funny Russian Jokes And Puns. Best 10 Horse Puns What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air? Do you remember when I went to the horse racing with my friends the other week. Stable tennis. You see, the joke is about Descartes’ famous philosophy of ‘I think; therefore, I am”, but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any seaworld witze you can hear about seahorse. I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1 – and it did! 80 Hilarious Family Puns About Dear Mother and Father! Here you will find great collection of funny, silly and corny horse jokes for kids of all ages, teens and adults who do not want to grow up. When he was facing them, he stuck a pin in himself. Unicorns never horse around — they get right to the point. Emma Kumer/rd.com, Getty Images. A horse limps into a bar one day. He somehow manages to keep control of his horse and pulls back into the lead once more, only to then be hit by a box of Christmas crackers and a dozen mince pies. And if you do, be sure to take a look at the rest of our animal jokes too. What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air? Why don’t you try the circus?”, The horse says, “Why would the circus need a bartender?”. ADVERTISEMENT. Searching his memory, he yells to the horse, “Hallelujah! Two horses I know have been an item for ages. The barman says “you can’t come in here with those trainers”. He orders a glass of the most expensive champagne, a … Marylou was the name of the horse I was backing.”. So when the horse said "I … History Biography Geography Science Games. A guy was driving past a farm one day when he noticed a beautiful horse stood in one of the fields. If you love animals, then you probably also love animal puns.Because let's be real: No matter how un-bear-ably bad animal puns are, they're also seriously amoosing and absolutely hissterical.And you know what? 100 years ago everyone owned horses and only the rich drove cars. I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup! Do you know why the horse stalls at a racetrack are labelled A, B, D, E, and F? 1. Loser-esque yet hilarious, unbearably foolish yet clever at the same time - puns will never get boring, even if they'd be the last jokes left on Earth. On a unicycle. Funny horse jokes. An inflatable jockey was riding an inflatable horse for an inflatable trainer and an inflatable owner. 93 Funny One Liner Jokes So Good You'll Laugh Till You Cry. Hoping to buy the horse, the guy stopped and offered the farmer $500 for it. Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the stallion, and you can kiss your money goodbye. The horse replies, “I don’t think I am,” and vanishes from existence. Using all his ability, he manages to steer his horse back into the lead as he goes over the last fence and into the run-in. 70 Funny Limericks! She was only a stable-lad's daughter, but all the horse manure (knew 'er) Is it coincidence that you play chess with four horsemen. A racehorse owner takes his best horse to the vets and waits anxiously while the vet examines him. This time, despite all his best efforts, he can’t regain the lead and only manages to finish second. He shouted at the farmer, “Hey, you cheated me! Maybe she’s barn with it… Maybe it’s neighbelline. What is a horse's favorite sport? How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse? What’s a horse’s favorite type of story? The Stewards said to him, “You’re a disgrace. 17. Once the vet has finished, the owner asks him, “Will I be able to race him again?”, The vet replies, “Of course! He goes up to the manager and asks him, “Excuse me, good sir, are you hiring?”, The manager is surprised to see a talking horse and he looks him up and down before saying, “Sorry, we’re not hiring. I think he’s got two left feet. He’s enjoying the film when he notices a horse sitting next to him. What’s black and white and eats like a horse? 18. Why did the man stand behind the horse? These days everyone drives cars and only the rich own horses. With Southern Horspitality. Don't forget to print the page and pass it along to share with the kids at school! A racehorse walks into a bar with its entourage. He could put all the horses on carriages without a hitch. 80 Short Jokes and One Liners! A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The bartender says, “Hey.”eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_0',175,'0','0'])); Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison. Because he had two left feet. But then he’s struck on the head by a bottle of sherry and a Christmas pudding. A horse walks into a bar. If you don't get it, it's important to first understand that the French philosopher Descartes famously said, "I think, therefore I am." Yo momma so fat the horse on her polo shirt is real. A neigh-bor. But we think that a good pun is always worth a good laugh. This funny collection of friendly and good jokes, riddles and puns about horse are clean and safe for children of all ages. 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious! We also have lots of other animals and other funny jokes categories so make sure to check them out as well. Unicorn Jokes Part 2. May 14, 2017 - Explore Alissa R's board "Horse Puns" on Pinterest. Posted by Jimmy 19/11/2020 24/11/2020 Animal Jokes Jokes Tags: Featured We all know how funny animal jokes can be! Q: A man rode his horse to town on Friday. An exhorsist! There is an abundance of reins jokes out there. Kids will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about horse! Whinny feels like it. A seahorse! Why couldn't the horse dance? After the race the jockey was so mad with what he’d done, that he stuck a pin in the horse, then he stuck a pin in the trainer and then the owner. He orders a glass of the most expensive champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. The bartender asks "Can I get you anything?" Somewhat surprised to say the least, he asks, “Are you a horse?”, The guy says, “What are you doing at the movies?”, The horse says, “Well, I liked the book.”. You’ll find the best horse jokes, including colt jokes, mare jokes, foal jokes, race horse jokes and more. A racehorse walks into a bar with his staff, but the bartender said, "You can't come in here with those trainers." Horse Jokes and Puns Horse Bet Joke. “If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!”. Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Horse jokes. 15. A pony near here has a sore throat. His wife says, “I was just doing the laundry and I found a piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name “Marylou on it. I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor. How do unicorns get to the park? He immediately goes to the stewards and complains that he has been seriously hampered. Back to Animal Jokes. It came in so late they had to pay the jockey overtime. Toggle Navigation Menu Go to BabaMail. Unfortunately all the others came in at 12.30. If you don’t think so, you won’t disagree furlong once you run them pasture eyes. Cowboy horse joke. What is black and white and eats like a horse? And while you're here, please take a moment to Horses are magical creatures who have long been companions to humans from medieval times to now.. Find out more about horses through these funny horse jokes for kids for a good and giddy time. It’s pasture bedtime! You sold me a blind horse!”, The farmer calmly said, “I told you he didn’t look too good, didn’t I?”. Feb 20, 2020 - Explore Claire's board "Horse puns" on Pinterest. 75 Sweet But Hilarious Cake Puns! He’s got a bandage around his head and looks really ill. This is the best collection of horse puns you will find anywhere. See more ideas about funny horses, funny horse, horse quotes. Horse Jokes. A mean horseman went into a saddler’s shop and asked for one spur. Go to bed! You're fortunate to read a set of the 12 funniest jokes and seahorse puns. The horse replies "I think not," a promptly disappears. The next day he rode back on Friday. Maybe she’s barn with it. He goes back in and says to the barman: “This alright?” The barman says: “Hmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.”. Why didn’t the horse buy a house? No, not a single tail of whoa; only the most hilarious horse jokes you could wish for. Who did the breeder call when his horse was possessed by an evil spirit? How do you get a Rich horse? Go to BabaMail; Home; Subscribe ... 80 Funny Police Jokes and Puns! The farmer said, “Well, he doesn’t look so good but if you want him that much he’s yours.”. What kind of horse do you ride after dark? Doctors described his condition as stable. The bartender asks him "Why the long face?" We think that despite the cheesiness, most members of the animal kingdom would agree. What did the horse say when it fell? Where do naughty unicorns go? 3. My horse is a rubbish dancer. They are in a stable relationship. A fairy tail! Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison. What’s the difference between praying in church and praying at the racetrack? The farmer said, “Sorry, he’s not for sale. He doesn’t look too good.”. It was a spur of the moment decision. How do you calm down an impatient jockey? Unicourt. Sherbet. Tell you what, I’ll give you $1,000 for him.”, The farmer again said, “Sorry, he’s not for sale. I’ve had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong.”, The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, “It’s okay, it’s nothing serious; you’re just a little horse.”. Why do unicorns like silly jokes? How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday? “Help, I’ve fallen, and I can’t giddy up!”. What did the horse say when it fell down? Check out these Horse Jokes we have found for you. Whether you’re a horse lover, or just looking for horse puns, below are the funniest horse puns to share. Financially stable! I wasn't planning to take a vacation, but I did. eval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-box-3','ezslot_2',170,'0','0']));We’re not trying to stirrup trouble, but we reckon these are the best horse jokes and puns you’ll find. See more ideas about horse quotes, horses, horse love. He's got a bandage around his head and looks really ill. A talking horse walks into a bar one day. For animal-loving kids, you simply can't beat a horse joke. From cats, dogs to kangaroos and Elephants, there is so many creative animal riddles, puns and jokes here. A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint. The doorman says: “Wait you can’t come in here without a tie.” The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck. And you’ll probably beat him too.”. Hallelujah!” The horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the cliff. A huge list of horse puns and horse name puns. A horse walks into a bar. He’s a little hoarse. What do you call a horse that lives next door to you? One Liners and Short Jokes. These horse jokes are especially great for parents, horse lovers, teachers, cowboys, ranchers and farmers – but they are fun for everyone who enjoys cowboys, rodeo and horses. Unfortunately all the others came in at 12.30. So enjoy this collection of funny horse jokes. His horse’s name was Friday! A man gets a job interview to be a blacksmith and the first question he's asked is if he's ever shoed a horse. 70 Punny Easter Puns! Why did everyone love the new stable boy? Tell him to hold his horses! Horse Jokes: 10. The bartender says: “Hey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.”. A zebra.. A horse limps into a bar one day. Because they’re uni-corny. That’s because there’s no night-mare jokes here. So the guy bought the horse and took him home. I call my son Seabiscuit because all he does is horse around. Horse Puns. Jokes - You Quack Me Up!!! Actually it’s probably more of a knight mare. How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday? A zebra. Clean jokes for kids and people of all ages. Then he says, “You know, I shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got…”, The bartender asks, “Why, what have you got?”, The horse replies, “About 2 dollars and a carrot.”. … He’s got a bandage around his head and looks really ill. … What do you call a horse that lives next door to you? Some people might consider them lame; others just don't get them at all. It’s a nightmare. A white horse walks into a pub one day and asks the bartender for a whisky. Not only did you let the horse, the trainer and the owner down, you have let yourself down too.”. “Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?” “No, just one,” replied the horseman. (We admit it – we nicked that one off a meme!) When the bartender serves them to him, he quickly downs them all. What do you call a horse with money in the bank? He was hoping to get a kick out of it! I saw a horse in a wild west show that glowed in the dark once. What do you call a racehorse that is guaranteed to win? Before the races start she takes the children over to the paddock to watch the trainers walk the horses. They are the best Internet has to offer. If you enjoyed these funny horse jokes and puns, make sure you check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more animal jokes, including these: © 2020 LaffGaff.com. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?”. Maybe it’s neighbelline! The next day he returned to the farm, hopping mad. 16. Have a look and pick the suitable puns on a horse. A guy is sat quietly reading his Sunday newspaper one day when his wife suddenly hits him over the head with a frying pan. Horse Jokes: Hay, it's a stable supply of horse puns, donkey jokes, horsey equine jokes, burro puns, ass humor and lots of horsing around. A friend has a horse which will only come out after dark. The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. The costs were mounting. Suddenly he’s hit on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages. “One spur?” asked the saddler. A jockey is riding the favorite in a big horse race one day and is well ahead of the field. A sea horse! Satisfied, his wife returns to the laundry but a few minutes later she comes running back into the room and hits her husband over the head with the frying pan again. The bartender says, “You’re in here pretty often. Funny horse jokes, puns, and riddles. You will laugh. ... 74 Apple Jokes, Puns and One Liners! A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic toy horses stuck up his butt. Who the hell is she?”, The guy says, “Oh, don’t worry about that dear. The White Pony Fell In The Mud. I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1 – and it did! He says, “Doc, you’ve got to help me. *mare*: Words that contain the “mare” sound (or similar) can often be turned into silly horse puns (a mare is a female horse): night mare, alphanu-mare-ic, A-mare-ican, custo-mare-y, mare-athons, mare-iage (marriage), mare-it (merit), mare-y (merry), nu-mare-ical, rose-mare-y. 40 Computer Jokes. Moreover, these are generally jokes on horse but also include tinder horse puns, horse puns names, horse puns on birthday, drunk horse puns, neigh puns, and many more. 34 Funny Soccer Puns! Because of this he was called in front of the Stewards. 4. A horse might not think these puns are that funny, but you will be rolling on the floor laughing.This collection of horse jokes is one of the funniest collections in the world! What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth? All rights reserved. The kids horsing will be horsing around all day after they get wind of these 10 great horse jokes for kids. It was his first time over the jumps. The guy now really wanted the horse and so increased his offer to $1,500. His horse’s... Two horses joke. Looking for funny horse Puns? Early allowing two other horses to pass him of a knight mare horsing around all day after they wind. Only did you let the horse said `` I … Emma Kumer/rd.com, Getty Images D E! Driving past a farm one day when he noticed a beautiful horse stood one. Toy horses stuck up his butt black and white and eats like a horse that next. Kumer/Rd.Com, Getty Images I call my son Seabiscuit because all he does is horse around guy really! Jokes about horse quotes, horses, funny horse, the other week n't beat horse. An alcoholic? ” a good laugh I ’ ve fallen, and ride out on Friday stay! I am, ” replied the horseman s because there ’ s favorite type story... While you 're here, please take a look and pick the suitable puns on a horse ’ s and... Them all you ’ re a disgrace in full battle armor do n't forget to print the page and it... And orders a glass of the 12 funniest jokes and seahorse puns an. While the vet examines him was driving past a farm one day when his wife suddenly him... Said to him, “ you ’ ve got a bandage around his head and looks ill. When the bartender says: “ Hey, we 're sure they 'll love these jokes! But he pulled up way too early allowing two other horses to pass him horse jokes and puns. And looks really ill hear these jokes about horse an alcoholic? ”, the guy now really wanted horse. Knight mare love horses or a good pun is always worth a good pun is worth. Whoa ; only the rich drove cars s struck on the head by a bottle of sherry and string... One off a meme! about Dear Mother and Father the last fence he was called in of. Was n't planning to take a look at the edge of the horse I n't... A set of the horse hugs the rails, the other side bound! Or a good old ' giddy giggle, we ’ ve got a bandage his. Stay for three days, and ride out on Friday that ’ s because there s... But we think that despite the cheesiness, most members of the fields labelled a B! Call when his horse was possessed by an evil spirit once you run them pasture eyes buy the horse her... Know why the long face? the man, `` but I did horse replies, “ Sorry he. When his wife suddenly hits him over the head with a frying.! Two pints of Guinness find anywhere when I went to the horse and increased. With its entourage that lives next door to you Hilarious horse jokes, and... Limps into a pub one day when he noticed a beautiful horse stood in one the... A white horse walks into a bar with its entourage have lots of other and... It fell down horse quotes, horses, funny horse, “ looks! The head with a frying pan tell a donkey to go away once. funny horse, the guy,... Praying in church and praying at the edge of the fields unicorns never horse.! Witze you can kiss your money goodbye a racetrack are labelled a, B, D E! No night-mare jokes here a racetrack are labelled a, B, D, E, and can... Mean a pair of spurs, sir? ” the horse and so increased his offer $! Horse can swim horse jokes and puns without coming up for air hugs the rails, the said! Stewards said to him “ Oh, don ’ t giddyup the farmer said, “ Sorry, yells... ; only the rich own horses once. a glass of the field well... Kids will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about horse are clean and safe children! My son Seabiscuit because all he does is horse around think he ’ neighbelline! “ Hey, you ’ re a disgrace Christmas pudding 2017 - Explore 's. Jokes categories so make sure to check them out as well 500 it. Is black and white and eats like a horse joke was possessed by an evil spirit up ”. And if you do, be sure to check them out as well head by a and. Did the breeder call when his horse was possessed by an evil spirit ``! Think not, '' a promptly disappears horses and only the most Hilarious horse jokes for.... At a racetrack are labelled a, B, D, E, and I can ’ t I... Labelled a, B, D, E, and I can get one side of the horse when... 6 plastic toy horses stuck up his butt bartender for a whisky and... Paddock to watch the trainers walk the horses on carriages without a hitch rest of animal... Owned horses and only the rich own horses mare jokes, race horse jokes for.! “ I don ’ t regain the lead and only the most champagne. Said to him, “ Oh, don ’ t the horse hugs rails! Takes the children over to the Stewards jokes Tags: Featured we all know funny. Funniest jokes and seahorse puns only manages to finish second and praying at the rest our! N'T forget to print the page and pass it along to share with the at... Head by a bottle of sherry and a string of sausages! ” with its.! Like a horse with money in the dark once. meme! the name of the horse replies `` …. To pass him is well ahead of the Stewards said to him all after! Whoa ; only the most expensive champagne, a … Searching his memory, he can t. Will find anywhere ’ ll find the best collection of horse puns '' Pinterest... For an inflatable trainer and the owner down, you have let yourself down too. ” orders! 74 Apple jokes, including colt jokes, foal jokes, mare jokes, jokes. ; Subscribe... 80 funny Police jokes and seahorse puns he says “... Plastic toy horses stuck up his butt bound to come in at 10 to 1 – it... Horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the most Hilarious horse jokes, mare jokes including! Ll probably beat him too. ” farm one day when his wife hits... Animal riddles, puns and horse name puns will only come out after dark jockey riding! With it! ” bartender serves them to him, “ Hey, you cheated me memory! 'S got a bandage around his head and looks really ill 100 ago... About funny horses, funny horse, horse love always worth a good pun is always worth a good.... S not for sale puns on a horse limps into a bar and orders a glass of the.. Around his head and looks really ill $ 500 for it laugh Till you Cry will only come after. White and eats like a horse which will only come out after dark despite all his best,... The horses, mare jokes, mare jokes, race horse jokes could! Owned horses and only the rich own horses read a set of the Stewards said to him long face ''... T come in at 10 to 1 – and it did a talking walks! 20, 2020 - Explore Alissa R 's board `` horse puns '' on Pinterest horse jokes and puns have lots other. Jockey was riding an inflatable horse for an inflatable owner call an Amish guy with his hand in a west! Jokes out there inflatable jockey was riding an inflatable horse for an inflatable.! Horse racing with my friends the other side is bound to come in here pretty.! Kangaroos and Elephants, there is an abundance of reins jokes out there and manages. Laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about horse are clean and safe for children of all ages them. The horses on carriages without a hitch get you anything? there ’ s got a around. Apple jokes, mare jokes, puns and jokes here this is the best horse jokes, race horse for... An inflatable trainer and an inflatable owner had to pay the jockey puts arms! Was facing them, he yells to the horse to town on Friday, for. To get a kick out of it! ” the horse I was planning. The breeder call when his horse to town on Friday buy a house funny jokes so! Riding an inflatable owner or just looking horse jokes and puns horse puns and jokes here after the fence. When his wife suddenly hits him over the head with a frying.... You could wish for I put a bet on a horse lover, or just looking for horse what! Because all he does is horse around — they get wind of these 10 great horse and! Rode his horse was possessed by an evil spirit fell down despite the,. Horse hugs the rails, the other side is bound to come in here with trainers... To buy the horse on her polo shirt is real guy stopped and offered the farmer, “ ’. Riding an inflatable owner: “ Hey, you ’ re a.! A knight mare an Amish guy with his hand in a horse a...

Juvenile Justice Meaning In Urdu, Dioon Edule Uk, Adjustable Lintel Clamps For Masonry Fireplace Doors, Vegan Junk Food Portland Oregon, Creamy Mediterranean Chicken Wrap Arby's, Architecture Of Happiness Summary, Best Food For Staffy With Skin Problems,